i

i needed time to get used to my new self. what kind of a being was this self of mine? how did it function? what did it feel--and how? i had to grasp each of these things through experience, to memorize and stockpile them. do you see what i am saying? virtually everything inside me had spilled out and been lost. at the same time that i was entirely new, i was almost entirely empty. i had to fill in that blank, little by little. one by one, with my own hands, i had to make this thing i called "i"--or, rather, make the things that constituted me.

--creta kano


not as drastic but i ask myself similar questions now that i've accepted that i'm an adult. there's no use to deny this phase in life anymore. i want to discover and understand what kind of a person, a grown person, i am, how would kids think of me and possibly look up to me.